Broken Bride
by Naria Lacour de Fanel
Summary: "If only insanity were my true illness, but heartbreak is more than enough to drive a man to the edge, and I will defy them all." AU Undertaker and Grell songfic to excerpts from Ludo's Broken Bride rock opera.


Title: Broken Bride

Author: Naria Lacour de Fanel

Fandom: Kuroshitsuji VERY AU

Pairing: UndertakerxGrell

Disclaimer: I don't own any characters from Kuroshitsuji, they are the property of Toboso Yana and SquareEnix. I do not own Broken Bride or Morning in May, these are the property of Ludo!

A/N: VERY AU Undertaker and Grell. I was listening to my music and of course the deeply romantic Broken Bride came on and this is what happened. I ALWAYS think of UT when I hear deeply obsessive romantic songs...

/= Song Lyrics

* * *

**Part I: Broken Bride**

_/Fifteen years I raged against the constant C, the_

_speed of light, the diagrams and haunted sleep_

_on frozen sheets, in bed, my dreams, your garden grave,_

_I'd climb inside, hold your bones and slowly die, the_

_cooling space inside your chest, my broken bride, you_

_never breathed again./_

Mad, they called me. Abandoning my hard-won career for a seemingly impossible pursuit. Letting obsession steal my so-called life for 15 years... But they never knew you. They never had your love to heal them, to sustain them...and without you...I cannot-

I _will not_ let this end. Not after all this time...

I will not fail you. Let them laugh and scoff, then tremble in awe, for I have finally overcome adversity.

I have completed the machine.

_/The circuits fail, the cosmic strings like rubber_

_bands, I lose control, they snap, I fall through_

_mist to mud against my face, the taste of blood,_

_the world is strange, the stinking earth and giant_

_trees, through heavy air a demon shrieks, what_

_have I done? What hell is waiting for me?/_

If only insanity were my true illness, but heartbreak is more than enough to drive a man to the edge, and I will defy them all. I will not let my colleagues' doubt shadow my success. I will not let their words convince me that I am compromising reality. One which I do not share. My reality no longer exists and has not since that morning in May...I have taken and destroyed as was necessary to find you again...but I see that I have gone too far... Much too far into the past...But I defy you, as well, Time. A mistake. But it is _real_. And that means my reality can come to be again...

_/I crashed before the birth of Christ, pterodactyls swarming_

_You died in 1989, just wanna get back to that morning in May_

_Keep you in bed, never escape, holding you close,_

_Listen to you breathe the evening glow_

_of fading light and cooling space./_

The nightmares never fade...The ghosting memory of your warmth is all that holds me and I cannot let it go...through ages...through eras...We will have it back...

_/Like motor oil down my throat, I couldn't speak, I dropped_

_the phone, the burning flares, the steam, your hair,_

_bits of glass, they sparkled everywhere, like winter_

_nights, the stars, the ice, all intertwined, to hold and_

_keep, like petals pressed in sheets, making love to_

_moonlight in our sleep./_

Your final moments possess my soul, tearing and searing, the pain of watching you fade before me...I could do nothing. I could say nothing. And you were gone amongst the wreckage to leave me alone and suffering in madness. But the memory of you, while cold and terrifyingly still, drives me on, making the impossible merely improbable. And I have transformed the improbable to a horrifying and fantastic actuality for myself. I have broken through your frozen memories, through the fiery haze of insanity, to get here. You were and still are everything to me... Can't you see, Fate, that nothing will stop me?

_/But now above the pits of tar, in a cave I hide, that_

_massive screaming thing with wings of reaper's cloth,_

_it's standing just outside, I must get to my machine,_

_I will bring you back to life, fix your ruined lungs,_

_I'll undo what time has done!/_

Even Death cannot resist to impede upon my quest to save you from Time's cruel thievery. Death joins the ranks of my inescapable enemies, a cohort of Time and Fate, the true reason behind the gaping void in my soul and this spiraling insanity that fuels my mad pursuit! But the end of all things knows no mercy for a mortal who has come even this far... I know am no match for such a primal force and my heart screams that I have given too much to let it end here. Even as I am grievously wounded, punishment for my insolence in attempting to break Fate's fetters upon our souls, left broken and bleeding in a prehistoric wasteland, I will not relent...I refuse to forget...even as my vision flees and the reaper waits to take his claim...

_/I crashed before the birth of Christ, pterodactyls swarming_

_You died in 1989, just wanna get back to that morning in May_

_Keep you in bed, never escape, holding you close,_

_Listen to you breathe the evening glow_

_of fading light and cooling space./_

The nightmares never fade...The ghosting warmth of you is all that holds me and I will not let go...through ages...through eras...I have come...

...I will...

...I _must_...have you back...

_/I carve your sweet name_

_into the cave, I'm sure to die_

_All my strife has been in vain_

_The glaciers come and wash my words away.../_

G...r...

Even as the final embrace beckons me I cannot help but leave a memory of you...your name in this cave...my tomb...but all has been for naught. Death must win. Fate will not let go.

...e...l...

Time will forget us, our existence, our love, which has driven me beyond my very means to be here...And all for nothing. I still could not save you...

...l...

_/I crashed before the birth of Christ, pterodactyls swarming_

_You died in 1989, just wanna get back to that morning in May_

_Keep you in bed, never escape, holding you close,_

_Listen to you breathe the evening glow_

_of fading light and cooling space.../_

The nightmares still won't fade...The ghosting warmth of you was all that held me and I could not let go...through ages...through eras...I have come...I can't... have you back...All I wanted...Was to go back...

...Must I leave like this? Must you fade to nothing with...me? In the suffering and pain, there is...

...a freedom...

...I close my eyes...

...and the reels dance.

**Part IV: Morning in May**

_/Your socks on the wood floor_

_The moment I'd hoped for_

_I'm terrified to think you might be real._

_I curl up behind you_

_Fit my body to yours like a shell_

_I smell your hair, oh love, I can't believe you._

_I squeeze you_

_To make sure you're really here_

_And I'm overwhelmed. /_

How is this real? How is it I've come back to you? To _touch_ you? To feel your warmth not as a lingering phantasmal memory, but in everything that is real? How is it I catch your beautiful scent in your ruby tresses once more and it grants life unto my very soul? Your breath stirs, your heart beats, you open your eyes and see... Oh..._How_...?

_/I've been waiting for so long_

_To touch you and sleep in your eyes_

_And now, as my heart's beating so hard,_

_I hold on_

_And keep you at home in my arms./_

It has been so long, so very long, my dear...my arms have been empty and cold. My heart stopped beating. My breath stopped stirring. And here I am.

I am home again.

_/They tried to console me_

_But you're all the consolation I ever needed._

_Years of smelling the clothes you left behind,_

_The photographs that seemed so far away._

_I don't need them now - you turn to me alive, awake, and blinking. "Baby,_

_Back so soon?" you ask, but I smile, 'cause I never left at all /_

The rending madness, the endless pain and torture in your agonizing absence... the machine, none of it ever existed because you are here now, gazing at me so sweetly with those dazzling emerald eyes and giving me that achingly familiar sharp grin. All of it...is gone...and for this very moment, I am truly glad. My heart is whole again with you returned to my arms.

_/I've been waiting for so long_

_To touch you and sleep in your eyes_

_And now, as my heart's beating so hard,_

_I hold on_

_And keep you at home in my arms. /_

It was so long, so very long, my dear...my arms had been empty and cold. My heart had stopped beating. My breath had stopped stirring. And here we are.

I have come home again.

_/You check the clock, it's time to go._

_You grab your keys and you're out the door_

_I step outside and you're waving goodbye._

_It's all happening again like before._

_As you're starting the car and I'm tearing inside,_

_I knock on your window. You stop just in time._

_Around to the other side,_

_I say,_

_"Baby,_

_I thought I'd come along for the ride." /_

The nightmare begins again. I see you go through the same motions, and Time threatens to repeat the Hell I finally escaped from. But I will not stand idly by when I know what will come to be. I cannot bear to see you leave my sights again, and so I will not. I will take this chance and do as I should have those 15 years ago. I will be with you...

_/I've been waiting for so long_

_(Time slows, and I take your hand)_

_To touch you and sleep in your eyes._

_(I hold you as we lose control)_

_Together, our hearts beating so hard._

_Hold on._

_Baby, we're almost home.../_

It was so long, so very long, my dear...our arms were empty and cold. Our hearts cease beating. Our breaths cease stirring. And here we are.

We have come home again..._together_.

The reels intertwine.

_=End=_

* * *

Broken Bride is a rock opera by Ludo about a man known only as "The Traveler" that loses his wife in a car accident in 1989, and driven by grief at her loss, he spends 15 years building a time machine to try and go back to save her. He goes too far into the past, and then too far forward into the future to the Apocalypse where he winds up sacrificing the machine to save humanity...his last seemingly impossible wish is to return to the fateful morning in May when he last saw his wife alive. It's terribly touching and I can't listen to it without crying.

I only included parts I and IV because the other two parts I don't see as very relevant to this particular pairing since, in death, UT is returning to Grell (in one sense or another...)without the whole facing the Apocalypse part LOL. If you're curious, part II covers the Traveler deciding to use the machine, and part III covers the Traveler saving humanity from the Dragon.

The references to death and the epic devotion just reminded me of my interpretation of Undertaker. I dunno. I can't explain it. Brain vomit?

Bittersweet, I think...and very _**very**_ AU.

Broken Bride: .com/watch?v=6n3KNmpPywY

Morning in May: .com/watch?v=5Dj3klxj6eE

UT is now an engineer and physicist. Your argument is irrelevant. =_=


End file.
